my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
