My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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