I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
