Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
