My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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