woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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