Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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