I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
