How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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