I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She told me I should be a condom model.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
