I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
