i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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