Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
