We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
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just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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