So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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