idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
