just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
