Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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