he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
