She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
