We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
