so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you win again, gameday.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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