I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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