Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize