So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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