Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize