And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He shit in the fireplace
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
