No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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