apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize