Yo dont text me then not text me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
