no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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