Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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