KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize