If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
