East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
