I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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