Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
