I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
