HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
