why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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