so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
