ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
