You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
