We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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