So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
