UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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