I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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