Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize