Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
