I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
