This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
