The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
