I am in a vortex of obligation.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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