Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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