I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
