and you said cock pushups were impossible
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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