Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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