nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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