Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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