Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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