Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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