i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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