what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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