Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
